To Be Loved
by xinderella
Summary: A girl runs away from home, wishing only to be truly happy. To be loved. But sometimes, happiness cannot be found in this world . . . Only in the fantasy one . . . COMPLETE.
1. Hate You

Author: Kisakino Ookami  
  
Title: To Be Loved  
  
Chapter One: Hate You  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything in VPM.  
  
Summary: A girl runs away from home, wishing only to be truly happy. To be loved. But sometimes, happiness cannot be found in this world . . . Only in the fantasy one . . .  
  
Other: This is what boredom does to me. Read and review!  
  
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*~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Perhaps it's my imagination speaking. Perhaps not. Maybe I'm going crazy. I am talking to myself, after all. Well, thinking is more like it. I don't think I'm going insane. Insane people never think for a moment that they're going insane. I am. So I can't possibly be going crazy, can I?  
  
It's been so long. I can't remember what I used to be like. I only know what I am now. A useless runaway. I do remember why I ran away, however . . .  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
"Don't you tell me how I should treat my daughter!"  
  
He backhanded her, sending her staggering back across the room, clutching at her face. It turned red, then purple, and then black after a few minutes. The mother of the girl cried, tears running down her bruised cheek, then her hand as she cradled her face.  
  
"Please . . . Don't hurt her anymore . . ."  
  
The girl lay prostrate on the ground, eyes shut, willing the pain, her father, everything to go away.  
  
"Get up!"  
  
She moaned a little, then screamed as he kicked her in the side. She hated when he got drunk like this.  
  
"I said 'Get up,' you worthless whore!"  
  
She rolled, dodging another drunken blow from her father. "I . . . I'm not a whore!"  
  
"You are what I say you are, you little slut!"  
  
"All I did was talk to Akira for a minute! He's just a friend!"  
  
All he did in response was give her another swipe across the face. She fell back, then collapsed to the ground once more. Her nose was bleeding, both her eyes were bruised, and every move she made sent pain shooting up her sides.  
  
"I hate you," she whispered.  
  
Then, she passed out.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.  
  
Why did he have to be so . . . so cruel to Mom and me? All I did was talk to Akira. That was all I did. All I did.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
"Hey, Hikari, wait up!"  
  
She turned around and smiled. "What's up, Akira?"  
  
"Nothing. But . . . I was just wondering . . . Are you doing anything next Friday?" He was stammering and blushing, which made Hikari laugh inwardly.  
  
But she couldn't. "I'm sorry, Akira, I . . . I can't." She frowned, glancing quickly at the rows of cars to see if her father had already come to pick her up. He wasn't there, as far as she could tell. "Listen, Akira, I'm sorry, but . . . I'm not allowed. My father is really . . . overprotective."  
  
"Oh. I understand." He looked so disappointed; she couldn't help but feel sorry for him.  
  
She sighed, then glanced quickly around to make sure _he_ wasn't there. "Akira, I'm sorry. Maybe this will make it up to you." She leaned forward and quickly kissed him on the cheek.  
  
He blushed even more. "Th - thanks. Well, uh, gotta go!" He raced off quickly, smiling and blushing. He turned around, just to wave goodbye. She waved back, grinning.  
  
She turned around, only to see that her father was in the car behind her, watching. He was waiting for her to come.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~ End of Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
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This is a multi-part thing. So the next chapter will further demonstrate this tale of misery and regret.  
  
Well, bye! And don't forget to review!  
  
Quote of the day: The hardest thing about falling is the ground. 


	2. Hush, Little Baby

Author: Kisakino Ookami  
  
Title: To Be Loved  
  
Chapter Two: Hush, Little Baby  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything in VPM.  
  
Summary: A girl runs away from home, wishing only to be truly happy. To be loved. But sometimes, happiness cannot be found in this world . . . Only in the fantasy one . . .  
  
Other: This is a continuation of the previous chapter. Read and review!  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I wish that I could die. It's not like anyone would care. Look at me, now I'm going suicidal. Well, not really. I don't think I'd be able to kill myself. I'm not strong enough. I'm too scared. It would hurt too much. I don't want to be hurt anymore. No more.  
  
I'm scared, Diary. So scared it hurts.  
  
I don't know how I'll be able to live in this stupid world now that I have no place to go.  
  
Was it such a great idea to run away?  
  
Hmmph. Of course it was. Anywhere is better than there.  
  
I hope Mom's all right.  
  
She ran away, too.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Real Life ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
The girl watched as the cars sped by her, then looked back down at her writings. Currently, she was sitting in a dark, abandoned alleyway, furiously scribbling in a flowered diary. A lock lay on the ground beside her, and a key dangled from a chain around her neck.  
  
She looked about seven or eight, but that was probably because she was huddled up into a ball, knees drawn up almost to her chin. In actuality, she may have been ten, eleven, or even twelve years of age.  
  
On the front of her diary was a glorious array of glitter and sequins, painstakingly glued onto the cover so that they framed the name " Hikari ".  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
I love you, Mom. I hope you're all right.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
- Hush, little baby, don't say a word,  
  
Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. -  
  
The young woman cradled the baby in her arms, singing sweetly. The baby cooed, delighted.  
  
- And if that mockingbird don't sing,  
  
Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring. -  
  
It was a girl. She had been so happy when the nurse laid her in her waiting arms.  
  
- And if that diamond ring turns brass,  
  
Mama's going to buy you a looking glass. -  
  
She was her little angel, her own little being of light.  
  
- And if that looking glass gets broke,  
  
Mama's going to buy you a billy goat. -  
  
So beautiful, so lovely, so loved.  
  
- And if that billy goat won't pull,  
  
Mama's going to buy you a cart and bull. -  
  
The infant's wide eyes started to shut, ever so gradually.  
  
- And if that cart and bull turn over,  
  
Mama's going to buy you a dog named Rover. -  
  
With a small burbling gurgle, the babe fell asleep in her mother's arms. The woman smiled and slowly walked to her daughter's small bed, trying not to disturb her daughter.  
  
- And if that dog named Rover won't bark,  
  
Mama's going to buy you a horse and cart. -  
  
Haruna gently lay the baby in her cradle, still singing softly, so softly. "I love you," she whispered in the baby's ear. Her daughter stirred, but did not wake.  
  
- And if that horse and cart fall down,  
  
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town. -  
  
"My baby. My . . . Hikari . . ."  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~ End of Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
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Please review!  
  
Quote of the Day: Being bored is boring. 


	3. Run Away

Author: Kisakino Ookami  
  
Title: To Be Loved  
  
Chapter Three: Run Away  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything in VPM.  
  
Summary: A girl runs away from home, wishing only to be truly happy. To be loved. But sometimes, happiness cannot be found in this world . . . Only in the fantasy one . . .  
  
Other: Read and review! And no flames, please!  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I'm so cold. How stupid of me to run away during the autumn months . . .  
  
I'm tired. So tired . . .  
  
I'll freeze to death if I have to keep living like this.  
  
What does it matter, anyway? I would have died even sooner if I had stayed.  
  
Mom.  
  
Why did you have to leave me?  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Her dad was sitting on the couch watching the television, lazily flipping through the channels.  
  
" - The weather today will be in the high 40's - "  
  
" - have been spreading throughout Kyoto's - "  
  
" - Hello. This is Kaori Ayumi, reporting to you live from - "  
  
" - Hahahahahaha - "  
  
He finally turned off the television with a purposeful "click" from the remote in his hand. An empty beer bottle lay in his other one.  
  
To Hikari, it was one of his good days.  
  
"Father?"  
  
"What is it, Hikari?" her dad said in a strangely sober voice.  
  
That was a good sign. He remembered her name. "Where . . . Where's mom?"  
  
Her father sighed. "Hikari . . . We have to talk."  
  
That did not sound good at all. "Yes?"  
  
"Come sit down."  
  
"All right." She sat on the edge of the couch, sitting as far away from him as possible without offending him.  
  
"Your mother . . ." He settled himself more comfortably on the sofa. "Your mother . . . She's . . . gone . . ."  
  
"'Gone'? What do you mean 'gone'?"  
  
"She won't be coming back. She's . . . She went to live with your grandparents."  
  
That didn't make any sense. Grandpa and Grandma were dead. So, a bit desperately, she inquired, "So you mean she ran away?"  
  
Her father sighed a bit irritably. Then, just to humor her, he added, "Yes, Hikari, she ran away. And she's not coming back."  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
I cried so much that night. When I woke up the next morning, my pillow was damp.  
  
I miss you so much, Mom.  
  
I know Dad wanted me to forget you. I think that's because he wanted to forget, too. That's probably why he's been dating all these women since you left us. But none of then can compare to you. Not even close.  
  
I think Dad knows that, too.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
"Hikari, I'm going out tonight!"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
"Come down! I want you to meet her!"  
  
Hikari took her time walking down the stairs. When she got to the living room, she stopped, staring.  
  
This woman was actually pretty. No wonder her father wanted her. But then -  
  
"Hello, Hiko." Her voice sounded sickeningly sweet, like those candies that are so sugar-packed, they make you want to throw up.  
  
"It's Hikari."  
  
"Yes, of course, Hikari. My name is Momoe. It's so nice to meet you!" She clutched Hikari to herself tightly and gave the girl a hug. Momoe smelled like cigarette smoke and dead roses and rotten eggs. It was all Hikari could do to keep from gagging.  
  
When she finally pulled away, she glanced at her father, then back to Momoe. Father. Momoe. Father. Momoe.  
  
She was tired of this. All the women that her father dated, they were all boring and uninteresting. She hated this. She hated, hated, hated it. How dare her father use her like this, to win over the females with his phony "family man" attitude! So she decided to get revenge. She knew she would pay sooner or later, but she didn't care at all. Not one stinking cigarette- dead-rose-rotten-eggs bit.  
  
Hikari took a deep breath and answered, "So are you my dad's forty-seventh or seventy-fourth?"  
  
Her father and his latest date just stared, unbelieving.  
  
There. She had them. So Hikari decided to use one of the words her father had used against her in one of his drunken beatings. "Oh, sorry, I mean which _whore_ are you? It's gets really confusing after the first thirty or so."  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~ End of Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
So what do you think of Hikari? What about her father and Momoe?  
  
Read and review! And no flames, please!  
  
Quote of the Day: No matter what you do, where you go, or how many times you change your name . . . Your parents will always find you. Then, they'll make you clean your room. 


	4. Rain Of Tears

Author: Kisakino Ookami  
  
Title: To Be Loved  
  
Chapter Four: Rainbow Tears  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything in VPM.  
  
Summary: A girl runs away from home, wishing only to be truly happy. To be loved. But sometimes, happiness cannot be found in this world . . . Only in the fantasy one . . .  
  
Other: Make sure you read my other fics, I Am and Until Then! But for now, read and review!  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I remember a lot of things she did for me. She loved me. I remember that. But I'm afraid. I'm starting to forget what she looked like. That's another reason I ran away. To find her.  
  
To find myself.  
  
I'm starting to forget what I'm supposed to be like. A lot of people said that I was the mirror image of my mother. I looked like her, talked like her, _felt_ like her. What she felt, I did also. I loved when she did. I laughed when she did.  
  
Which wasn't much.  
  
I even cried when she did. Which was almost all the time.  
  
So now that's she gone, I don't know what to feel anymore. But I do know that I feel sad. I feel sad that she's gone. And I feel angry with my father, for making her go away. And I feel . . . lonely.  
  
Mom.  
  
I remember the stories you used to read to me. I remember. I really do.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
" . . . And so they lived happily ever after."  
  
Haruna closed the book, shutting her bruised eyes for a moment, only a moment.  
  
When Haruna opened them again, she saw that her daughter was fast asleep, covers tucked up to her chin snugly. Hikari's chest rose and fell with each breath, long, deep ones.  
  
She got up from her sitting position on the bed slowly, slowly. Hikari did not even flutter an eyelash.  
  
Haruna brushed back Hikari's bangs from her sleeping face, and then kissed her forehead softly. She nearly burst into tears when she once again saw the black-and-blue spot on her daughter's cheek.  
  
She straightened, walked to the door, and turned off the light. The rays from the lit hallway spilled out into the room, falling across Hikari's peaceful form. She watched her daughter in slumber, watching, waiting, loving . . .  
  
She shut the door completely, then pressed her forehead against the coolness of the wooden door.  
  
Her last words were but a whisper.  
  
"The end."  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Mom?  
  
Why can't you find me so that we can finally live happily ever after?  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Real Life ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Tears streaked down her upturned face as she gazed at the sky above. Gray clouds overhead were full, waiting to turn black with hate and anger to vent its rage on the city below. Winds blew, and she could hear thunder from far away.  
  
The raindrops poured down, lightning flashed, thunder crashed. Winds whistled, even as fierce air currents blew and tore at her slim frame. The heavens cried out their frustration with this cold, unloving world. They were letting out the pain that was Hikari's for her, since she could not.  
  
The rain battered her face, still facing the heavens above. Darkness, darkness, dark.  
  
When the winds died down and the lightning and thunder went on their way, they took the light-stealing clouds with them. Only clear sky could be seen above, already turning orange and pink and lavender with twilight. Night was coming, and she had nowhere to go. The only place she could stay was right here, right here in an alley with empty cardboard boxes and trashcans full of garbage and stray cats and ugly, disgusting rats. This world was ugly. There was no denying it.  
  
But, overhead, she could see the slight, pale form of a rainbow. And the sky wasn't too shabby, either, with all of its sunset hues and tints. It was as if the sky was smiling at her.  
  
And she smiled back.  
  
"I love you, Mom."  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
That's it for the fourth chapter. Read and review, and don't forget to do the same with my other fics! And no flames, please! I appreciate efforts to help me improve my work, but please be polite about it!  
  
Quote of the Day: If the door to success is locked, you can always climb through the window of opportunity. 


	5. Eternity

Author: Kisakino Ookami  
  
Title: To Be Loved  
  
Chapter Five: Eternity  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything in VPM.  
  
Summary: A girl runs away from home, wishing only to be truly happy. To be loved. But sometimes, happiness cannot be found in this world . . . Only in the fantasy one . . .  
  
Other: Make sure you read my other fics, I Am and Until Then! But for now, read and review!  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diary Entry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I wish -  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Real Life ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
"Hikari . . ." A melodic voice suddenly cut Hikari's thoughts short. She looked up, startled.  
  
A shadowy figure stepped out of the darkness. A few moments after, a larger, more imposing shadow followed.  
  
"Who . . . W-who are y-you?" Hikari's voice was shaking. She was terribly frightened; this was made obvious by the way she trembled. She huddled more tightly into a curled-up ball.  
  
"I . . . am Miyu . . . I am the one that can give you immortality . . ."  
  
A nearby streetlamp shed light on the newcomers.  
  
One, the speaker, was a girl. She was wearing a white yukata with a red one underneath, tied with a purple obi. She looked about fourteen, and her hair was tied up in a bun on the side of her head. It fell gracefully down in a braid, done with a red ribbon. A fringe of hair flanked the other side of her face.  
  
The second visitor was a tall man. Hikari couldn't see his face; he was wearing a mask. All that she could see was that he was wearing a cloak the color of ebony.  
  
"Wh-what do you mean?" Hikari stood up, face illuminated by the dim lamplight. She clutched her diary to her chest, shaking uncontrollably.  
  
"Don't you ever wish for true happiness?" The girl stepped forward. "To be left alone in your fantasies where no one can ever disturb you?"  
  
Hikari did not answer; only took a step backwards away from the other girl.  
  
Miyu continued. "Do you wish you lived in your imagination, rather than in this cruel, disgusting world?"  
  
She now stepped into the artificial light of the neon signs flashing over their heads. Miyu casually gestured to the dirtiness, the dinginess, the dankness of the alleyway. With one simple wave of her hand, without words, she asked the question: "Don't you want to escape all this?"  
  
Hikari was now up against the wall. The girl took one more step and only a hand's breadth of empty air was all that separated the two. "Do you want to live in your own fantasy world, where you can be whoever you want, whatever you want, and with whoever you want?"  
  
The mysterious girl locked gazes with Hikari. Hikari couldn't move, entranced by the hypnotic spell those eyes cast over her.  
  
Then, the girl stepped away. Hikari could breathe once more. She was grateful she remembered how. She didn't even know she was holding her breath until that moment.  
  
"Hikari."  
  
It wasn't a command, merely a calm inquirement.  
  
Hikari was confused. She didn't know, yet she did know what she should do. As she had looked into the golden-eyed girl's gaze, she had also looked inside her soul. She could see only darkness in those gold orbs.  
  
But in the span of those few seconds, she had also seen that there was sadness, too. And joy, and anger, and fear, and hate, and love. She saw love. And she saw a chance to escape. A chance to escape everything. A chance to be with whoever she wanted.  
  
'Mom.'  
  
She knew that Miyu's eyes were only reflecting her own. And that's how she knew what she wanted. What she needed.  
  
After what seemed like hours, Hikari finally found her voice. It was rough and soft, but also determined and sure.  
  
She answered all the girl's questions with a single word: "Yes."  
  
The girl smiled mysteriously, understandingly. She knew. She understood Hikari's deepest fears, her darkest thoughts. She knew her greatest dreams, her every desire. She knew.  
  
"Come here, Hikari."  
  
"All right." She knelt down, picked up the lock to her diary, and locked the diary with the key. Standing, she took the chain from around her neck and gave both the little book and the key to the other girl. "Here. Keep these." Miyu nodded, thanking her. She took the two gifts and handed them to her servant. He took them without a word, and stashed them in his immense cloak. Startled, Hikari noticed that his hands were strangely pale, with red nails. She shivered involuntarily, then remembered her obligation. She came to the girl, steady and sure.  
  
"Hikari," Miyu breathed as she clasped the child to her and sank her teeth into her neck. Hikari gasped, but remained still and unafraid of her fate.  
  
When Miyu was done, she relinquished her hold on the girl's neck, then gently lowered Hikari to the ground. Hikari lay unmoving, unfeeling. Her eyes had a glazed look to them. They reflected the starry night sky in their dim depths. A small smile was on her face.  
  
Miyu slipped back into the shadows along with her servant Larva. Just before she left, she whispered without looking back, "Welcome to eternity, Hikari."  
  
Then, she disappeared into the night.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
The End.  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Please review, and please read my other fics if you haven't already read them!  
  
Much love, Kisakino Ookami  
  
Quote of the Day: Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left. 


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